I'm not sharing my weight. I'm embarrassed. I have no self control.
I am starting. Beginning. I am reminding myself what I'm aiming for, I have pictures to put up in my house. I'm also reminding myself how awful I feel when I feel fat (which I totally do right now). Plus we started going to the pool again, and just putting on a swimsuit helps me feel like the lump of fat and crap that I actually am.
It's 12:30, and I've had nothing today. I'm going back to my skipping breakfast and lunch days, eating only dinner. Nothing after dinner either. I need to remember how great that high feels, how great I feel when I haven't eaten more than 500-600 calories for 4 days. The rush when I successfully refuse some treat that someone's trying to get me to eat is incredible, and I need to find that again. I'm enjoying my chai tea right now (straight tea, no milk, 0 calories) and relishing the fact that I'm empty. Plus I got up at 4am and ran (I had a super crappy run, only made it a mile, but I still did it).
I'll start posting my weight again when I get below 113 again, like I was before I lost all control. Hopefully I'll be there within a week.
Stay strong lovelies. Give me strength.
that's awesome you got up at 4 am and ran. i believe in you!
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