Day 2--
Yes, it really is day 2!

I kept busy yesterday... like crazy busy. I was at work. Worked through lunch. After work I had to take my car into the shop. I was there until around 6pm, sitting right next to the vending machine. But I didn't eat. I spent the time looking up pics and fasting experiences. Then I went home and had a friend's daughter come over for tutoring. She didn't leave until about 8:30. Then I dyed my hair. Finally crawled into bed around 9:30 or 10...

And couldn't sleep.

I slept like shit.
I kept having weird dreams or just tossing and turning.
I must have gotten up 10 times to pee!
The first time I though it was like 4am... nope... 11:30. WTF.

I got out of bed at 4:45, gave up on sleeping, did my hair, talked to my dog, cleaned the house a bit.

Had coffee this morning.

And I'm not that hungry. I expected to be starving today, but I'm not... At least not yet.

It's been almost 42 hours? Has it been that long? I have to check my ketones... maybe I'm already in ketosis?

Weight was down about 3 lbs, which was more than I expected but I also know it's all water.

The worst part is that I spend time thinking about what I will be... and then I see what I still am... and it's gross. But I move on.

Easier than I thought... I kinda feel like it's not going to stick because it's too easy? Lol I say that now, and it'll probably be awful tomorrow...

5 day water fast-- Day 1

I feel like I need to explain.
First, I'm at the highest weight I've been at in years. Like YEARS! Like since my last child was born and I was working back down.

Now, there are a couple of reasons for this...
1. Stress-- I just moved. again. Work is stressful. I'm working 2 jobs, and the class I'm teaching at night is new and difficult.
2. Age-- OK let's be honest... I'm coming up on that point in my life where my age is catching up to me. I didn't realize how bad it would be, but it's BAD! I feel like even when I'm careful I still gain weight!
3. Smoking-- I quit. I actually quit. In January. Ever since then my weight has been creeping up... and it wasn't super low when I quit anyway. So that's a problem.
4. Acceptance-- I have been telling myself that it's ok... I'd rather be heavy and get to eat... blah blah blah. But now none of my clothes fit. For real. It's not OK anymore.
5. HIM-- Yes, him. He is heavy. He has been gaining weight since we met. Honestly, I think he's not OK with it either, but we both enable each other to eat, and that's bad.

So anyway, I have a couple reasons why it's time...
1. 140. Yes I crossed that line. WTF. I've never been over that line unless it had to do with building a small child, it's just not acceptable.
2. Clothing-- I don't WANT to buy a new, fat wardrobe! Especially since I'm older than HIM, I need to stay looking good!
3. The ring-- I expect to become engaged within the next year. It's important to me that I look good, not for him, but truly for me. I want to look good in engagement pictures. And since we won't be getting married for a couple years, I am going to actually do engagement pictures.
4. The neighborhood-- I'm back in the snooty neighborhood. The friends aren't friends anymore, but I want to make some new ones.
5. Me. I like being skinny. I like having that one thing that I can hold over others, just in my own mind. It's a willpower thing. I like the challenge.

So, HE is working 2nd shift this week. I won't see him again until Saturday. I can get away with not eating, and I'm going to. 5 day water fast.

I started last night at 6pm. It was intentional. I had some water with MIO (0 calorie) at about 8pm.
This morning I had black coffee. and water. It's lunchtime right now, I"m on about 17 hours. I'm hungry, but it's manageable. I know dinner time is going to be hard, but I'm making plans. I have to take my car to the shop after work. I may be tutoring tonight. And I'm coloring my hair. Whenever I need to commit to something, I make a change in my hair. I'm trying to not cut it (remember, the ring) so coloring is the next best thing.

So that's today's plan. I will be successful. I will check in tomorrow (or maybe later tonight) on what it feels like.