I don't get it. I've been great. I've been careful about what I eat, staying below 800 calories every day, below 500 most days. I've been just eating dinner when I can.
And my weight is at an all time low-- 115.6 yesterday, 115.4 today. So I know I'm doing well.
And I'm not happy. Not one bit. I thought being at an all time low would make me happy. Maybe it's just because I know I have SOOOO far to go until I am where I want to be. Maybe it's just because I'm totally depressed, not much of anything makes me excited anymore. But I thought at least my weight loss would make me excited.
Oh well. Here's what's been going on. Monday-- I was awesome after the awful weekend. I didn't eat anything until dinner, and then I made burritos, and I ate about half of mine and the rest went to the dog. I told DH I wasn't feeling well from all of the cookies I'd eaten Sunday (I hadn't eaten THAT many, but any excuse is a good one in my book). Tuesday, that was going to be the challenge. It was the holiday feast day at my work, but luckily I had to be in another building for most of the day. So I avoided food in the morning, and when I got to my other meeting I'd happily missed that breakfast. So far so good. Well, then came lunch. I knew it would be odd if I didn't eat, and it was just a taco bar. I skipped the meat, took a tortilla (small, soft, about 160 I'm guessing) and a small serving of rice with beans (probably around 100 cals). Plus I had a ton of lettuce, a little cheese (50) and a ton of salsa. I also grabbed a few chips (probably 100 cals, I estimate high) and skipped dessert. They didn't have any diet soda except coke, which I don't drink, so I drank water. So, meal was around 400ish cals. Got home and had dinner-- leftover night! Oh, but I roasted some asparagus (yummy). So I had a small serving of chicken (150) smothered in salsa and a TON of asparagus! Unfortunately, the asparagus had oil on it, so probably around 250 cals. It was kinda nice being able to eat a ton of food though and not feel too guilty. I am like that with broccoli, I let myself eat as much as I want. I did feel a little guilty, but if I'm going to binge, I'd rather binge on a veggie!
So anyway, I'm feeling good about the weight, but not really excited or anything. 99 is a long ways away, and I've already rethought the 99 thinking 95 is a much prettier number. Eh, we'll see.
Stay strong lovelies!
I think the fact that you made it to 115 is so inspiring, as that's where I want to be. Think about it, you're so much closer from where you were! <3
ReplyDeletestay lovely
Awesome on the cals and intake...and that your weight is actually doing what it's supposed to do. Just remember...even the right weight is never the end all be all to happiness. Unfortunately. I'm definitely better off being at a lower weight 'cause other wise I'm miserable though so I'll take what i can get. You are on your way!
ReplyDelete