Embarrassed...

I can't believe what I allowed myself to do over the weekend. I ate like a fat person. I am so disgusted, I want to fast but I can't skip dinners with my family. I seriously would have to fast for the whole week to make up the damage that I did this weekend.

So the plan was to skip dinner Friday and breakfast Saturday, then just eat lunch and dinner with my parents. Well, Friday night driving out there I was kinda hungry. OK, I was really hungry. And the smell of the food in the car was overwhelming. So I ate 1/2 Wendy's chicken sandwich, 1/2 Wendy's double cheeseburger, 1 chicken nugget, and 6 french fries. Granted, when I was a heifer I would have eaten 3 sandwiches by myself, plus fries, plus a frosty... but still, way more calories than I'd intended, that's for sure.

Saturday-- I started good. I skipped breakfast (well, 1 bite of eggs, and the rest made it to DS2 and DS3 and the dog). Well, the problem is we're potty training DS2. So whenever he uses the potty he gets an M&M. Well, the M&M's are in the trail mix. And before I could stop myself I was eating the trail mix. Handfuls of the damn stuff. Gross. I also ate lunch, nachos, a big serving (normal from my fat days, I guess) and dinner (chili, roll, more nachos, some chicken, some french fries). And more trail mix.... lots more trail mix. Then I drove home and ate tortilla chips with hummus! WTF? Total binge day.

So of course, I swore I'd be good on Sunday. But I needed to bake cookies for holiday gifts. These cookies are awful for you-- TONS of butter and sugar. But I probably ate about 1500 calories in just cookies and dough. Ugh. Plus I ate lunch (leftover nachos and cous cous) and dinner (Stromboli, homemade, but at least I kept my portion small there and didn't go back for seconds). But then again before bed I had more chips and hummus! I don't get it. I know better than this, but the weekends are just so hard for me.

I was too embarrassed to step on the scale this morning. It was 116.8 Sunday morning, but I'm totally scared what it would have been today. It'll take more than this week just to make up for last weekend, but I'm certainly trying. Coffee is my friend :)

Stay strong lovelies, I need to this week!